The Thrill of It | Poem about RP and OOC
In the theater of the mind, we play our parts,
Donning masks with eager, trembling hearts.
But beware the stage where shadows creep,
For in this play, the cost may run too deep.
At first, a thrill, to slip into new skin,
To be someone else, to let the game begin.
But as the curtain rises, again and again,
The lines between actor and role grow thin.
Like a mirror cracked, the splintered self,
Each shard a role, a face that winters.
In the glass, a hundred eyes now stare,
Each one a visage, captive within.
The original thrill, now hard to find,
Lost in the labyrinth of the mind.
Which piece is real? Which one is true?
When all reflect a different hue?
One shard gleams with confidence bright,
Another dim night of sorrow's might.
Here's a fragment sharp with rage,
There's one meek, trapped in a cage.
The kaleidoscope twists and turns,
As core identity blurs and churns.
In fragmented galleries of the soul,
Which piece can make this puzzle whole?
But the glass keeps breaking, finer still,
Each role, each play, against your will,
Carves you up in slivers thin,
Until you don't know where to begin.
To pick up the pieces, to make them fit,
To find the self that used to sit,
At the center of this shattered art,
Before the roles tore you apart.
Oh, the siren call of make-believe,
That did this wayward heart weave.
Be wary of the parts you play,
Lest your true self slip away.
For in this cosmic game of pretend,
Where does the actor's journey end?
When the curtain falls, what remains?
A fractured psyche, wrapped in chains.
So tread with care on stages grand,
Where personalities shift like sand.
For in the end, you might just find,
A shattered self you've left behind.
This poem was intended to be about roleplay (or acting, in this specific case VRChat LARPing) and how much it can consume your life if you aren't careful with how you approach it. You can find yourself consumed in it, molded and shaped by it, to a point where you no longer can feel whether or not you're you or your character. This unfortunately can be tied into out of character interactions with people who begin to associate your character with you as a person, as it's a highly sociable form of media. I've had an unfortunate lot of friends that have come and go because they could no longer take the psychological dichotomy of a friend treating them in character during a larp differently then out of character, and that sometimes there really was no separation because of how freeform the media is- you never really know if someone saying what they're saying in character could be their in character or out of character thoughts and feelings. Yet, because you're in so deep, you can no longer back out- you have so many responsibilities to the roleplay, because at your core, you love it- you've craved this form of rp and satisfaction and fulfillment for so long, but you cannot take the vitriolic landscape that it's become- and it turns you into someone jaded, worn-down, to a point where you no longer enjoy your hobby, and you begin to feel like a husk.